Self Healers Summer Week Two: The Hanged Man
Forced Pauses and New Perspectives
Welcome to week two of Self Healers Summer. For the next five weeks, we’ll be going on a self-reflective journey using tarot as a way to get around blocks from our conscious mind and get to the inner wisdom of the subconscious.
If you’re new here, read the introduction post and see how I break down my way of reading and using tarot which I’ve affectionately named, Tarot for Reclamation, because you know I love a good brand symmetry moment. Last week, we covered the first three cards of the Major Arcana, The Fool, The Magician and the High Priestess.
Today we are jumping a bit ahead in the Major Arcana to focus on a card that looks a little bit scary but offers us a ton of opportunity for self reflection: The Hanged Man.
This card is about mid-way through the Fool’s Journey of the Major Arcana. Which is a pretty universal experience isn’t it. We start off naive and excited, we are cruising along our growth journey then BAM, we are faced with a forced pause. It’s the perfect card for me to write about today as I’m PMSing and just lost my childcare and summer break feels extra chaotic and I’m feeling a bit stuck.
In Need of a Perspective Shift
I’m currently sitting at the library trying not to cry from frustration because I’m attempting to write this essay and being interrupted every 3.4 seconds by my almost 7 year old who I was hoping would find the giant Winter Park library with an entire floor just for kids full of books and toys and games enough to keep her entertained but who has decided to talk to me nonstop and tell me she’s bored this entire time.
I’ve taught on cycle syncing in a live workshop so you’d think I’d be self aware enough to not get myself in this sort of predicament but nope, here I am. And I am not sharing this to complain, but more to just share the reality that sometimes I get so frustrated that I feel like crying and I start to compare myself to every other person on substack (and in general) and a voice from somewhere starts telling me “no one cares, no one will read it, no one cares, you’ll never be successful” over and over on a loop when I attempt to do anything I’m passionate about.
A few minutes ago as I was standing across the children’s section from where I had to leave my cup, my phone, and my laptop, waiting for my daughter to use the restroom, trying to not catastrophize someone stealing all my important things, and I had this thought of maybe I should just get a job stocking books at a library. Or doing data entry for some random company. Why put myself through this? Why am I trying to be an artist and business owner? Then I think about how I’d slowly wither and hate my life but at least I wouldn’t feel rejection constantly.
Anyways, here we are. I’m deep in Luteal week. For any readers with male hormones instead of female ones, that means everything sucks and I’m dying. ;)
For everyone who may not be familiar with the various names of the weeks in a female’s hormone cycle, luteal is the days leading up to your bleed. It’s PMS.
But cycle seasons is not the topic of this essay. It’s about learning how to find our own inner guidance and tap into it. Many of us had that very human ability severed at a young age with moralistic thinking and dogma that told us we couldn’t trust our own inner voice, that it was “evil” or “worldly” or would lead us to ruin. Or maybe seeds of self doubt were planted by people who had good intentions but wanted to make all our choices for us. No matter how it happened, it’s a really happy reunion when we not only find that inner wisdom, but start to rebuild our trust with them.
The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man is a card that at first glance seems very uncomfortable, maybe even frightening. From its title to its artwork, it seems like something not so positive is happening, doesn’t it?
Let’s take a closer look!
In the traditional artistic depiction of the hanged man, the main character in the card is hanging upside down on a wooden T. One foot is bound to the tree, the other is free. And the characters face is serene, sometimes depicted as glowing, leading us to believe that they are either hanging that way by their own choice, or that they have accepted and made peace with their situation.
The themes of this card in a reading are: surrender, a pause, letting go, new perspectives, stalls or delays, and possibly resistance. It could mean that projects are coming to an unexpected hault.
The lessons we can learn from this card are anything but negative. While the experience may feel uncomfortable or be frustrating when we are full speed ahead to feel caught up by the foot and held still. And like me, at this exact moment in time we have some choices. We can stand outside the bathroom on the verge of tears feeling very woe-is-me and let a victim mentality take over, or….
A Shift in Perspective
We can use this pause as an opportunity to get new perspective.
(I almost wrote, “we can use this as a gift” but then felt like throwing up in my mouth a little because the hormones in me were like,“THE FUCK?! WE WILL NOT SEE THIS AS A GIFT!” So anyway… if you don’t love reading my opportunity to see this circumstance as an opportunity, I get it.)
But here is the important message of the Hanged Man. And it’s one I’ve learned the hard way many times. The Hanged Man reminds us that if we don’t take pauses, sometimes the Universe (or our bodies) will take them for us.
Oof. Have you been there?
So, we can view these pauses as something to fight against, to flail around and cry and complain. Or… like the character pictured here, we can find our peace and look around for what might be useful to us.
What do we see when we are held in a position of pause? What new things do we notice? What are we made aware of that we would have missed going full speed ahead?
While these pauses may not be at the most convenient times and while they may be voluntary or involuntary, we cannot argue that we are in a position of surrender when we are in them. During these times, we can release old mental models and use the perspective we gain to inform our decisions moving forward.
Even in the short pause of writing this essay so far, I’m already seeing things differently. If I’m being really honest with myself, the old way of me just white-knuckling summer schedules isn’t going to work anymore in our life. My kids are too big and busy for that and so am I. And I’m experiencing the uncomfortable forced pause right now because of me not realizing that and planning ahead for it. And as much as I fight against these learning moments, they are good because I tend to put too much on myself and then get completely overwhelmed and burn out. Lesson re-learned I guess. ;)
It’s time to grab your journal!
Just like last week, use as many of these journal prompts as you like. Add more if you feel so inclined or don’t use any and just free write! Follow your own curiosity.
Journal Prompt #1:
In what way does the phrase “What got me here won’t get me there” apply in my situation right now? What is this forced pause for perspective illuminating about what needs to change moving forward?
Journal Prompt #2:
If you have a deck, pull out the Hanged Man and look at the card. If not, google a photo and just write what comes to you. What do you notice? What is the vibe? What story does the art tell? What do you feel you have in common with the character either right now or at times int he past.
Journal Prompt #3:
How would doing the OPPOSITE of what you want to do affect the situation at hand?
How would doing what you want to do affect the situation at hand?
Journal Prompt #4:
Take a moment to imaging you are physically being held upside down in the middle of your current situation. Look around. What do you notice? Be specific. What is on the floor under you? What is around you? What do you see differently from this angle? Write it all out no matter how small.
Journal Prompt #5:
This one’s for you if you are frustrated: Free write/rant about the situation you are in right now. Get it all out. No censoring. Be as negative, whiney, and angry as you like.
Now when you’re done, go back through sentence by sentence and write a counter point. Even if it’s annoying to be that positive. Everything has it’s opposite and the hanged man card asks us to consider what that might be. If anything sticks out to you as really interesting underline it and free write a response
Becka Robinson’s (she/her) degree is in Psychology. She is a Certified Consulting Hypnotist and is trained in mimetic modalities as a way to facilitate healing from traumas both big and small. She grew up in pentecostal evangelical christianity and even served on staff in ministry before leaving at the age of 22 and has been deconstructing and sharing about it ever since. She is a neurodivergent, late blooming queer, artistpreneur and healer living in Central Florida with her husband and two kids pioneering utilizing RRT for people healing from religious trauma and reclaiming their power and agency. You can read more about her work via her website: www.beckarobinson.com. Now booking private sessions through July!
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If anyone’s curious, it took me 3 and a half hours of stop and go interrupted writing and one major fast food lunch bribe to get this finished. But I feel a lot better just from working through some of the journal prompts myself. I hope this messages finds you with exactly the words you need as well. xo, B